she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
love makes seman taste better
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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