In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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