At least make sure they are 18
Why
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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