he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize