my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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