you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
