Swine flu is the new snow day.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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