I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
