I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
