how hairy? two words: wookie tits
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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