Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
