how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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