You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
