We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
farters have to be the big spoon...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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