Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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