You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize