I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
