If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
