Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
