I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
