we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My balls are so social today.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
