You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
