Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
