Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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