on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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