remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
