Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
