I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
