we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
