He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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