so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
