I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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