i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
