literally had 100 drinks last night.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
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I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
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We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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