I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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