At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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