I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
