Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
