Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
