He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
