we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
