Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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