Porn is love you can see.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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