im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
