so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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