party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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