the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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