Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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