Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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