Well apparently he's into motor boating.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
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Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
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I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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