You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
