Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.

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(315): View more from New York

You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.

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(904): View more from Florida

Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.

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(775): View more from Nevada

We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married

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(404): View more from Georgia

You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?

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