haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
