Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?