billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?