there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.