ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
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Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
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its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.