Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way