Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(504): View more from Louisiana

My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life

Fav 21 7002 1622
share tweet
(704): View more from North Carolina

She brought up feelings... her days are numbered

Fav 19 2079 5651
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(316): View more from Kansas

toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.

Fav 18 1439 5219
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.

Fav 36 9875 1470
share tweet
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(442): View more from California

While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.

Fav 74 1694 5750
share tweet
(828): View more from North Carolina

I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.

Fav 4 1160 1654
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome

Fav 14 1647 1683
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

How are you feeling?

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.

Fav 8 542 859
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.

(816): View more from Missouri

Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?

Fav 2 1297 908
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT