Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(757): View more from Virginia

If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?

(269): View more from Michigan

Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(757): If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans? (269): Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass. http://tfl.nu/u35z

Replies (13) Good night (2423) Bad night (714)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible. http://tfl.nu/l361

Replies (19) Good night (5135) Bad night (541)
Favorite
(414): View more from Wisconsin

is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(414): is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons? http://tfl.nu/ve8k

Replies (24) Good night (971) Bad night (4509)
Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper http://tfl.nu/mqbh

Replies (13) Good night (5646) Bad night (2041)
Favorite
(336): View more from North Carolina

They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(336): They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up. http://tfl.nu/5b65

Replies (5) Good night (4157) Bad night (713)
Favorite
(908): View more from New Jersey

he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(908): he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious http://tfl.nu/30k1

Replies (11) Good night (3269) Bad night (893)
Favorite
(818): View more from California

well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(818): well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning http://tfl.nu/ywc2

Replies (18) Good night (4593) Bad night (2300)
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair. http://tfl.nu/h2x0

Replies (5) Good night (2699) Bad night (939)
Favorite
(920): View more from Wisconsin

I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(920): I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend http://tfl.nu/kstp

Replies (4) Good night (2753) Bad night (837)
Favorite
(416): View more from Toronto

DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(416): DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS http://tfl.nu/59kb

Replies (8) Good night (2079) Bad night (861)
Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party. http://tfl.nu/nzty

Replies (5) Good night (1711) Bad night (911)
Favorite
(949): View more from California

Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.

(949): View more from California

I felt like a god.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(949): Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list. (949): I felt like a god. http://tfl.nu/u6fp

Replies (6) Good night (1113) Bad night (425)
Favorite
(506): View more from New Brunswick

There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(506): There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet. http://tfl.nu/yw9h

Replies (23) Good night (1053) Bad night (528)
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now. http://tfl.nu/4fdt

Replies (13) Good night (629) Bad night (361)
Favorite
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(306): I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him. http://tfl.nu/3qpq

Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (178)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: