Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...

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(703): someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat... http://tfl.nu/oev5

Replies (7) Good night (749) Bad night (1566)
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(630): View more from Illinois

you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...

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(630): you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling... http://tfl.nu/h6kn

Replies (38) Good night (1088) Bad night (3927)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.

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(715): I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting. http://tfl.nu/jzvn

Replies (26) Good night (5389) Bad night (1388)
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(817): View more from Texas

but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head

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(817): but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head http://tfl.nu/vzhl

Replies (5) Good night (870) Bad night (2568)
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(916): View more from California

when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.

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(916): when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas. http://tfl.nu/o5tw

Replies (13) Good night (1173) Bad night (3029)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.

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(410): I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part. http://tfl.nu/xejt

Replies (5) Good night (1798) Bad night (892)
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(316): View more from Kansas

He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him

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(316): He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him http://tfl.nu/40tq

Replies (8) Good night (1730) Bad night (1093)
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(248): View more from Michigan

He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.

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(248): He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup. http://tfl.nu/dnmt

Replies (12) Good night (3402) Bad night (934)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover

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(303): I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover http://tfl.nu/1e3z

Replies (9) Good night (1355) Bad night (575)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand

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(603): I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand http://tfl.nu/gtek

Replies (8) Good night (2256) Bad night (521)
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(443): View more from Maryland

i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream

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(443): i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream http://tfl.nu/zdot

Replies (9) Good night (630) Bad night (1504)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.

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(978): I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping. http://tfl.nu/amws

Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (288)
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(646): View more from New York

i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.

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(646): i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months. http://tfl.nu/9phq

Replies (9) Good night (763) Bad night (513)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.

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(843): If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick. http://tfl.nu/pvhu

Replies (4) Good night (633) Bad night (176)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.

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(202): He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver. http://tfl.nu/ieko

Replies (0) Good night (396) Bad night (127)

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