I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
In America we eat man semen.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
