i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
