we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
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He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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