I'm really into asian looking animals
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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