I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
