im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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