he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
