You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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