But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
