wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
