kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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