lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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