You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
