you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
